To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
