it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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