remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
