We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Dicks are not precious.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
