We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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