Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
