so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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