There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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