Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
