And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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