Christians are straight up FREAKS
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Welp...herpes.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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