none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
