wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
