I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
