I'm going to jail i love you
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
