dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
