I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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