Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
