Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
