2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
