it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
