He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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