She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
