More tranny stories later!
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
