hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
