Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
