i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
