is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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