No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
