1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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