so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
