dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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