Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
