True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
