Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
