who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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