I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
