I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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