I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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