There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's shark week go big or go home
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
