I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
