It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
