I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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