if i can run in heels then i can drive
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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