He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
