they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
