No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
