i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
