oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
