After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
