i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
