brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
