My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
