She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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