No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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